I was putting on a pair of gloves the other day, and although they are made of the most beautiful and expensive leather, I realised that I wanted another pair.

Later that day, as my house slave was serving me a steaming cup of coffee, after he had cleared away my breakfast, I had a most fantastic idea...

I sent a message out to all my 'poverty slaves' (those idiots who have signed a legally-binding contract to live in absolute poverty, with all their money coming to me) telling them one of them could have my gloves. They all had a week in which to raise the most in donations and to put it in my bank account. I told them to deposit their money and then I would hand over the gloves to the winner.

A month later, hundreds had been put into my account. Yummy! The best gloves slave, Will, had raised over $1,675.00 for me.

I gathered all my gloves slaves together in my cellar for the announcement about who had won. As a little joke I left them locked in there overnight. Ha! After a leisurely breakfast, I entered the cellar, and stood at the top of the steps that lead down into it...

I told them that the winner was not the one who had given the most. Their donations had simply earned them the right to be there in the cellar. Poor Will's face was a delight: such massive disappointment. I laughed out loud at this!

No, the winner would simply by the one who could catch them. As I told them this I threw the gloves at the assembled slaves. Then I just stood there and watched them fight for them. They were pushing and punching, kicking and scratching. I just stood there and laughing myself silly. I even applauded them for being so amusing. It was so cool!

After a few minutes it all died down, and some of my gloves slaves were looking really beaten up. I left, with a big smile on my face, and told my house slaves to kick them out... after giving each one a good beating just for fun.

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