I adore my beach house. It looks out over the Caribbean. I always spend winter there.

The slaves who serve me whilst I am there however feel very differently. They dread the beach house (ha! ha!). I am happiest there not only because it is beautiful, and I can spend day after day tanning my toned body (have you clicked on the photos section and seen how perfect I am?), but also because I feel very strongly that my slaves should not enjoy it. They are not worthy of enjoying the Caribbean sun. They are pigs, after all.

How do I do this? Well, each day, typically, I lie next to my pool, soaking up the sun's rays and turning such a perfect golden tan colour. My skin is just so perfect, and seems to love the sun. You know, each day I wear a different bikini and sell for them (have you checked out the 'my used items' section?).

Whilst I am there I will always have a cool glass of my favourite cocktail by my side. No glass could stay there for longer than 10 minutes - ever! It will always be replaced every 10 minutes. That way, it will always be cool for my lips. I cannot imagine anything worse than sipping a cocktail that isn't ice-cold.

To underline to the slaves that they are the lowest of the low, what I do is ban them from drinking during daylight hours. During those long, hot Caribbean days, they can not drink a drop (what stupid pigs they are!). The only two slaves that can are the two hot sexy ones I charge with watching over the other slaves and ensuring they obey (they get to massage me too, but that's a real honour if they do very well).

As they take back cool drink after cool drink from my poolside table, the slaves will be holding exactly what it is they want most, a cooling drink. But they cannot touch it. Each one is poured away, down the sink.

I lie there watching them in their torment... and I love it. Sometimes, I get one of the two sexy slaves to come over and we sit there together laughing at the other slaves. I might even have one of them run fast on the spot to make them really thirsty!

What I love even more is the evening when they get the water they long for. I will make the slaves stand in a line, and I hose them down with a really powerful hose. They would all topple over and fall down because it is so powerful, and I often throw my head back in laughter. Stupid slaves!

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